DO you hear that familiar noise coming from Washington and London? America beats the drum for war, and London rattles its sabres as a backing track.

America has accused Iran of attacking two tankers in the gulf. Jeremy Hunt, Foreign Secretary in what passes for the British Government these days, says responsibility “almost certainly” lies with Iran, and talks of a “great risk” of war. Iran denied involvement, and then yesterday ramped up tensions by announcing it will breach the limit on stockpiling enriched uranium which can be used to make nuclear bombs.

The backdrop is Donald Trump’s abandonment of the Iranian nuclear deal last year – a trade-off between Iran’s nuclear ambitions and the lifting of sanctions. Mr Trump reimposed sanctions. Iran is now asking Europe to step in. Fears of war grow.

Talk of conflict in the era of Brexit and Trump is enough to send most folk running for their Protect and Survive pamphlet. It’s like waking up from a bad dream to find you’re in a Technicolor nightmare.

Let’s be clear, the British and American governments are lost beneath such a snowdrift of lies that even if the ghost of Ayatollah Khomeini rose from the dead and gave a press conference admitting Tehran’s culpability in the gulf attack, it would still be hard to believe London and Washington. Britain and America make the boy who cried wolf seem a reliable eye-witness.

First, we’ve the legacy of the Iraq War to contend with – a war based on lies. American and British spies were pressurised by the Bush and Blair administrations to cook up a phoney case for war based on non-existent weapons of mass destruction (WMDs).

The only WMDs were weapons of mass deception, as the British and American media amplified the lies of the two administrations and failed to hold their deceits to account. Remember headlines like “45 minutes from doom” as the tabloids told us Saddam could attack UK interests? Or journalists rah-rahing for war like Kitchener reborn? Remember Parliament caving in?

Iraq fatally damaged British and American democracy. Lies which led to illegal wars, civilian deaths, and mass terrorism aren’t easily forgotten. Iraq drained all trust in politics. It’s no surprise that America and Britain rejected the establishment and looked toward populism in the shape of Donald Trump and Brexit.

Against the tide of blood from Iraq, we’re now being asked to believe what London and Washington say over the gulf attacks. Only a fool believes a liar. London and Washington have to prove their claims beyond a shadow of doubt. Their word means nothing anymore.

Germany’s foreign minister isn’t alone when he casts doubt on the claims. Even a video purporting to show Iranian troops removing an unexploded mine from one tanker didn’t convince Heiko Mass. “The video is not enough,” he said. “To make a final assessment, this is not enough for me.” France is silent. The EU is assessing evidence.

There’s also a discrepancy in evidence. After claims that the tankers were mined, the crew of one ship said they were hit by “flying objects”. There’s no room for mistakes when it comes to war with a regime like Iran.

Read more: Hunt warns of 'great risk' of drift to war

The memories of Iraq War lies aren’t the only untruths we need to deal with – we’re now being asked to believe President Trump, a man who lies as much as he toilet-tweets. Lying for Trump is an involuntary reflex; he lies like rest of us breathe. By April this year, he had told an astonishing 10,000 lies while in the Oval Office.

Britain is likely to have a liar installed as Prime Minister shortly, in a bloodless coup staged by rich English pensioners who control the Tory Party. It feels like the last act of a death cult: the Rev Jim Jones comes to the Cotswolds. They’re getting old, time’s getting on, so they’re going to take the rest of us with them via Boris Johnson’s premiership.

Johnson – I’d sooner cut out my tongue than say “Boris” in that faux bonhomie of the London press – is a born liar. Lies are in his mitochondrial DNA, not just his bones. He’s also Trump’s ideological gimp, shuffling along behind each populist move like a well-trained pet slave.

Trump makes hay with anti-Muslim rhetoric and Johnson is in with his Enoch Powell one-liners about Muslim women in burkas being “letterboxes”.

The decision over whether or not Britain and America go to war with Iran could be taken by these two men soon. Trump and Johnson – a cheeseburger in a power suit, and a man who looks like a drop-kicked blancmange, neither of whom has a shred of moral fibre or decency. They share mendacity and a lack of scruples like they share bedhead.

A lot of centrists today play a game where they cast their memories back to the days of Bush and Blair and think wistfully of the past. “It was bad, but it wasn’t this bad,” goes the thinking. The past, in their minds, becomes a safe space from Trump and Brexit.

They’re fooling themselves. Bush and Blair were criminal liars responsible for mass deaths. If war begins with Iran, we’ll just have a new C-list cast – Trump and Johnson starring in the worst remake in history.

America is a rogue nation, and Britain is a basket case. War and peace should not be for either to decide. The United Nations infamously tried to rein in Bush and Blair over Iraq and failed miserably. Today, all issues of world peace need to be under the aegis of the UN – and the European Union has to make this fact abundantly clear on the global stage. If London and Washington think they can prove Tehran was behind the attacks, they need to be told to bring conclusive evidence before the world.

I don’t know the truth of the Gulf attacks. No-one does, yet. But It looks bad for Iran. However, looks can be deceiving, as we discovered when Saddam was captured hiding in a spider-hole with not a WMD in sight. The United Nations has to be the final court of arbitration, and Europe must fight to make that happen. Peace or war cannot be decided in the failed, lying corridors of Washington and Whitehall.

Neil Mackay is Scotland's Columnist of the Year